Its crazy how....

Its crazy how after so many years of not seeingg you, then a couple hours and a few words and i cant get you out of my head...probably the smartest thing i coulda done was take myself out of the situuation..probably whats best for both of us, so why does it feel so wrong?!?!?maybe its not even that it feels wrong, maybe its just a bothersome feeling, why do i feel like this???? Especially knowinvg that it was never a serious sitation, and more then likely never would have been...

After 11 1/2 years...

Some how i think that after 11 1/2 yrs. I am beginning to resent my husband (for his illegitimate child during our marriage) even more now...maybe its got something to do with fathers day, but just looking at him i feel so much anger, so much hurt, even hatred. My brothers gf is pregnant, her babyyshower is this coming Sunday, i usually avoid these events because it just hurts a bit too much, but i cant this one, so im wondering how im going to get through this..im so sick and tired of being sick and tired, tired of crying, tired of hurting, i try and always have hope & faith, but im worried that even that is now fading...

So I Find Myself In Tears Again..

Here i am crying again..theres so much that i deal with on my own, not by choice but no one else bothers so its just me in this battle. So with all that i already deal with, i come tind that my dh is friends with his ex (mayve even ex's i just stopped looking after seeing the first) on facebook of courae. Needless to say im even more upset now, and his andwer to me when i asked him "why would you be friends with youur ex on fb", was oh you need to see a shrink its nothing.. at this point im just trying tto find the strength to pack up and leave. I dont need this crap, always being told im wrong, im crazy everything i doo is wrong...ive got enough to deal with i dont need this kind of stttuff on top of eveerything else...