its been awhile...

well I know it,s been awhile since my last post however my husbands step father passed away and i had to take care of some things. My brother in-law was also in due to this (from Japan) which I am glad he was here after waking up and hearing about the tsunami! He actually left to go back today and im still a bit worried due to the fact that they are worried about a problem with the nuclear plant. I am EXTREMELY depressed! Just hit me all of a sudden! I am crying as I blog.. Every month, every week, evey day, I think hey maybe by some freak accident I'll get pregnant...and then again I don't! It hurts so bad! At some point you would think you'd get used to the disappointment, but you don't I actually think it hurts more every single time you start your menstrual cycle :( I have no idea what to do with myself! My area has no kind of support group for this type of thing, my husband doesn't get it any more, my mother has 3 kids my dad 7. So nobody gets it! & I lay here hoping, praying 4 my chance @ havin a baby